Gratitude by Steve Pavlina*
Gratitude equals wealth. Wealth equals gratitude. You’ve probably heard one of those expressions before… or at least something similar. Certainly the connection seems true on an internal, emotional level. It’s hard to imagine feeling wealthy without also being grateful. And if you’re truly grateful,
you probably feel wealthy as well, regardless of your actual circumstances.
Because of this apparent connection between wealth and gratitude, many so-called wealth experts suggest that if you want to increase your wealth, you should focus on being more grateful. This sounds pretty good on the surface and meshes well with the Law of Attraction. The idea is that by feeling more grateful, you’ll feel more wealthy and thereby attract more abundance into your life.
Having tested this for myself extensively, I found there was an effective way to practice gratitude and an ineffective way. Unfortunately, the ineffective way is much more obvious, and I was stuck with that form of gratitude for many years. But eventually I progressed towards a deeper understanding of gratitude and found a more effective way to practice it, one that yielded much greater external abundance as well.
First, I’ll address the ineffective form of gratitude. Let’s call it Level 1 Gratitude. This is gratitude for your possessions and your immediate circumstances. It’s the kind of gratitude we learn as children: Thank you for the gift, for the candy, for the trip to park, etc. When you practice this as an adult, it spawns thoughts of gratitude for things like:
• a roof over your head
• your material possessions
• a car that runs
• your health
• your relationships
• your family
• your job
• your skills
• the holidays
Note that Level 1 Gratitude goes beyond material possessions. It’s the default form of gratitude you’re likely to come up with when you attempt to make a list of things to be grateful for.
I’m not suggesting there’s anything bad or wrong with this form of gratitude. It’s certainly better than having thoughts of scarcity. However, in terms of activating the Law of Attraction, its effectiveness is relatively weak.
Often when people attempt to use Level 1 Gratitude, it’s because they’re actually feeling complacent or negative about their circumstances, but they’re trying to look on the bright side and build some positive momentum. If you’ve ever expressed gratitude by starting with the words “at least,” you know what I mean. At least I have my health. At least I have a roof over my head. At least I have a vacation coming up.
The underlying message is: What I have is OK, and I can temporarily feel grateful about it if I push myself to do so, but genuine gratitude isn’t my default feeling because ultimately my circumstances just aren’t that exciting. More often than not, they leave me feeling empty or complacent rather than grateful.
When I choose to do so, I can notice my life circumstances and feel grateful for them. I can feel grateful for my marriage, my kids, my house, my career, and my friendships and so on. The essence of the experience is no different than when I found myself in far less abundant circumstances.
Even when your overall circumstances seem negative, you can still temporarily pop into a state of Level 1 Gratitude just by changing your focus. For some people this can be the catalyst for a major attitude change, but in most situations it only provides a temporary reprieve with no major lasting benefit.
The reason Level 1 Gratitude usually fails to trigger the Law of Attraction is that Level 1 is too weak. It’s like drinking “near beer” – it has no bite. You can enjoy this state of gratitude temporarily, but overall you’ll remain stuck in your old patterns. Level 1 Gratitude is fragile since all it takes to knock you out of state is a change in circumstances or a change in your focus. Even getting the mail can kill it.
Let’s proceed to Level 2 Gratitude. I think of this as “holistic gratitude” because it’s independent of situations and circumstances. This is a feeling of gratitude for life itself, for existence, for anything and everything you experience. But rather than being a temporary emotion that requires constant focus, Level 2 Gratitude is more of an underlying attitude. With practice it becomes part of your identity.
Level 2 Gratitude encompasses everything in Level 1, but Level 2 goes beyond that to include being grateful for:
• your life
• the universe
• time and space
• your problems, challenges, and hardships
• your foibles and mistakes
• your consciousness
• your ego
• people who treat you unkindly or unfairly
• your thoughts and emotions
• your freedom of choice
• ideas and concepts
Level 2 Gratitude says, “How wonderful it is to exist!” Circumstances are irrelevant because this form of gratitude is a choice that needs no justification. It is a sense of utter fascination with the very notion of existence. You become grateful for the adventure that is life, including all of its twists and turns. This form of gratitude is synonymous with unconditional love because there is no attachment to circumstances or outcomes. Consequently, there is no fear of loss or change.
Level 2 Gratitude is like having a constant echo in the back of your consciousness saying, “Wow!” Everything else is experienced on top of that Wow. Gratitude becomes the canvas upon which your life is painted.
Perhaps the closest analogy I can offer is to imagine playing a video game. The game is totally state-of-the-art. You’re amazed by the graphics, the music, the game play, the characters, etc. It doesn’t matter so much if you win or lose because the experience itself is what draws you in. You’re so fascinated by the nature of the experience that the details are secondary.
If you can remain in that state of wonder, you’re likely to perform well at the game and enjoy the experience. Eventually you’ll get good at it. Your glorious accumulations may include a high-level avatar, tons of gold, and alliances with other characters. But that stuff is only the result of your enjoyment, not the cause of it. The game can still be fun even when you’re just starting out and have no meaningful possessions. In some games you can even go deep into debt, and yet the experience is still fun.
For more on the whole “life is a game” concept, be sure to read Life - The Ultimate Game. Many people find this analogy helpful for getting past fear and loosening their death-grip attachment to circumstances. Letting go of this conditional attachment is the key to experiencing Level 2 Gratitude.
When you feel grateful for existence itself, you move from doing grateful to being grateful. At this level you finally activate the Law of Attraction because you’re broadcasting gratitude all the time. It becomes part of your identity. Ultimately you attract circumstances that resonate with who you are.
When your feelings of gratitude are conditional upon temporary circumstances like your stuff, your job, and your relationships, your base identity doesn’t change. But when you root your gratitude in something permanent, it becomes a permanent part of you. Instead of saying, “I am grateful for…” you just say, “I am grateful.”
I must have spent at least 10 years practicing Level 1 Gratitude (mostly in vain) before I began shifting towards Level 2. It was a very gradual process as my feelings of gratitude became more unconditional. It started with me attempting to feel grateful for things I wouldn’t normally feel grateful for, like my breathing, the bushes on the street, music, my biggest failures, etc. This helped me see that no matter how negative, meaningless, or routine something seemed, it was still worthy of gratitude. Gratitude is a lens for uncovering beauty.
So if I can suggest a how-to process, I’d recommend practicing gratitude where you’d least expect it to work. Select an unlikely target X, and then hold the thought, “I am grateful for X.” Eventually you’ll shift towards a more unconditional feeling of gratitude, and you’ll be able to drop that “for X.” In practical terms I’ve found that as my gratitude has become more unconditional, my life circumstances improve to keep pace. These changes are very noticeable, like increases in my income or seeing my relationship with my kids improve. In keeping with the Law of Attraction, this is to be expected because if I’m grateful for everything in my life in advance, I should attract the circumstances that are congruent with those thoughts and feelings.
Level 1 Gratitude has its place, but if you want the universe to back up your feelings of gratitude with some actual results, eventually you need to progress to Level 2. When you’re living the life of your dreams, this is how you’re going to feel anyway, so why wait? Challenge yourself to create these feelings now, even in the most unlikely circumstances, and notice how you begin attracting the relationships, opportunities, and resources that resonate with those feelings.
*http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/01/gratitude
Gratitude, Faith, and Clarity of Purpose -- The Most Powerful Statement
By A.M. Sall
"Things might have been worse." This is the most powerful, dynamic, revolutionary statement you could ever make in your life.
But first, deciding to take an inventory your life will lead you
to put down in front of you two parts of your life:
1. The good things: positive
2. The bad things: negative
Do you think your life might have been better or worse? This is a choice for you to make. But if you put everything down and carefully examine it, you will realize things certainly might have been worse.
"I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet." (Confucius)
For example, you have lost your job but you are in good health: you might have lost BOTH health and job. Now, the mere fact that you are faced with a choice means you are in a dynamic situation, the possibility to decide for yourself, to assert yourself, to test your sense of purpose.
You are FREE to decide. Yes, it is up to you to decide whether things might have been better or worse. If you decide that things might have been better and things had indeed been better, you wouldn't have felt the need for change: you would have carried on, unconscious and happy.
If your "present" is better than it might have been, then there is no reason why your "future" should not be better than your "present" (please read this sentence again.)
The only difference is NOW YOU KNOW and this is what makes your situation so powerful, so dynamic, so revolutionary, and so excitingly full of pro-activity. You can decide; you can make choices, set goals and work to achieve your goals.
You are no longer groping in the dark and whatever you decide for yourself will come to pass.
Your future is a heavily pregnant lady and you don't need an obstetrician, because YOU are the obstetrician - not just any obstetrician, but the most powerful obstetrician that ever was. All the kids are yours and YOU can decide what they are going to be. This is a terribly exciting story, and you are the superhero.
Now is the time to exercise your sense of purpose. Deciding that things might have been worse means you are ready for three things at least:
1. Gratitude: you can be grateful because you see the positive side in all things. You realize there are more positives than negatives, so you don't complain, you don't explain, you are in control;
2. Faith: the realization that from now on, things CAN be better and you can decide things ARE GOING to be better.
3. Clarity of purpose: you know exactly what you want things to be.
You are ready for a life-change and you have faith, gratitude and a sense of purpose. These are the 3 legs of your Success Mindset Tripod.
Once you are ready for change, you have gone at least 60% of the way, you can get anything you want. Attitude is the first thing to change and you have changed
your attitude from negative to positive. Clearly affirm your readiness for change.
From now on, anything you do will be informed by your faith, your gratitude, your clarity and unity of purpose. Meditate a lot to convince yourself that you are on the right track.
This deep conviction will rid you of stress, tension, doubt and fear, your two worse enemies. Eventually, you will impress everybody, including yourself!
Deep conviction will bring you into agreement with yourself, the only person you really have to agree with, after all. This is what I call "unity of purpose".
And once you agree with yourself, you'll find it much easier to agree with anybody else - contrary to what some people may think.
Now is the time for you to decide what part of your life you want to change, be it making money, losing weight, relationships, or anything else.
Now is the time to set your goals, and take action to achieve them.
But never forget that you have already gone 60% of the way - readiness for life-change, which was obtained through making a balance-sheet of your life and deciding that things might have been worse (past + present) and that things CAN and indeed ARE GOING TO get better (future)
And things are truly going to be better than they could ever be, simply because NOW YOU KNOW. Always remember "things might have been worse" - and be
grateful, confident and purposeful.
Then move forward and upward, and build your life with your Success Mindset Tripod!
Lead your life and don't allow yourself to be led by your life.
A.M.Sall - author, coach, success mindset strategist
PHOTO: thepranamama.com
