Pray it Off 03/24/11 Emotional Weight Loss and Clutter

Emotional Weight Loss and Clutter*
By Ronald Wayman

Clutter can be so damaging to any lifestyle.
It can weigh down the mind, heart, body and soul. When a person addicted to keeping clutter is asked to clean house, they will often cringe because each item kept has a purpose, a reason, a safety feeling. Clutter is a buffer against the unknown. Clutter is a protector. But this does not have to be so. Clutter in reality is not truly safe and not truly a protector against the unknown. It just may seem so.

Excess weight on and in the body is a mirror of the clutter in most overweight individuals. I have noted that many people who have cleaned up their life start losing weight. They act out what they feel around them in their environment. And if they clean up their environment, subconsciously they are cleaning up internal sabotages to weight loss.

I received this email from my client Suzie about clutter and weight loss:

"Hey Ronaldo! I did get your letter. Thanks. I think you pretty much nailed it down on everything. Basically my whole focus right now is on losing this excess weight. It's just so frustrating! And when I look around at all the things I have to do it makes me crazy and with all the junk I'm hanging on to I could just scream. And yet when I go to clean or organize it, it's like I don't know where to put everything or how to organize it and some days it feels like I'm going slower than tar. I don't know what things to keep of my children's and I'm afraid if I get rid of something I might need it again. I know this is just a big hang up, but there are a lot of people like me out there with the same problem. My neighbor said it was hard for her to throw some things out, too."

My reply: "Hi Suzie, Thank you for your email. You say in your email that your focus is on weight loss but it seems to be on "the clutter" and getting rid of it. The great part is - getting rid of clutter is one the key areas of weight loss both physical and emotional/mental. The problem might be the focus that you apply to the all that clutter in your home. That focus makes the clutter even more negative. Every time you feel guilty and blame yourself when you see the clutter you will lose more personal power to those stacks."

Start seeing the clutter as a subconscious message from inside that you want to clean up the junk inside but your body is having a hard time knowing what to do with it once it is up. Take the clutter as messages of deeper unorganized stuff that can now be cleared. Most who do this stop blaming themselves and change their focus to cleaning up their life, body, and home with a positive opportunistic attitude.

So, Suzie I want you to do some writing. Sit down, take a deep breath and answer some of the following questions: So why do you keep focusing on the clutter?
Why are you "safer" keeping the clutter than throwing it away?

It could be a childhood trauma or simply conditioning from parents.

I want you to try to throw some clutter away and write about the feelings you have.
I want you to try to throw out some junk food out of your diet and write about those feelings.

In regards to my statement in earlier email:

"The more we become aligned and have integrity with our inner values such that they are automatic the more likely we will create what we want in our life."
I notice that I receive and give that which I value most. If my values are conflicting then the results of my life will be conflicting. If my values are non-conflicting then my life creates peace, joy, and fun. So that is why I want you to become clear on you and your inner values.

Reply to the questions above and also prioritize your values for me. Thank you
Ron"

What are the parts of clutter: I just asked my wife this question and she replied "Oh PLEASE!" So I asked my teenager, what are the parts of Clutter?

Maybe clutter is like a prepositional phrase, An English teacher told my teenager that a prepositional phrase is like - "anything that a squirrel can do to a tree Over, under, around, through." Clutter can be everywhere. Where is the Clutter in your life?

Here are many examples:

Physically:

On the Body: excess weight

In the Body: eating too much, eating in clutter fashion (whatever is in the refrigerator goes in)

On the counter: excess papers, to do lists, magnets all over the fridge, leftovers,in and on the refrigerator: leftovers, magnets all over the fridge, papers on top, salad dressing bottles all used and then ignored for a century, vegetables bought and then stashed away in some bin.

In the Garage/Basement/Attic: boxes leftover from your last 3 moves, homework assignments kept from yours or your children's classes, financial records and stubs from 14 years ago in a box near the other boxes of precious things.

Emotionally:

In the Heart: Feelings buried alive, worries, anxieties, frustrations, resentments about things that happened long ago but still pumping energy through the heart and body.

Mentally:

In the Mind: Beliefs of "not good enough," not enough of anything - money, sex, love, food, etc., beliefs of "I don't deserve" and other similar cluttering beliefs.

Spiritually:

In Soulfulness: Trying to do too much and scattering yourself with too many projects and aspirations, Letting everyone else dictate what you are to be doing, Resenting lack of control, fearing more than trusting.

Write about what physical and nutritional Clutter that could be affecting your path to weight loss in the body and clarity in the mind, heart and home.

* http://empowerlife.com/clutter.html


How Clearing Clutter Can Help You Lose Weight By Peter Walsh

Clear clutter,
lose weight: Living a richer life with less stuff - Four years ago I became the organizational expert on a television show called Clean Sweep. The premise of the show was very simple. A team of experts – including me, a designer, a carpenter, and a crew that assisted in the painting and redesign plans – was given two days to help a family dig out from under their overwhelming clutter.

What started out as a program to help people deal with clutter quickly morphed into something very different. It became obvious that the clutter represented something much deeper going on in many of the people's lives and relationships. For those people, and many of the clients I work with, a shift had taken place – almost without them realizing it. They no longer owned their stuff; their stuff owned them. For some, it went even further. Their "stuff" was the way they defined themselves – "I am what I own." They were unable or unwilling to separate themselves from what they owned to the point that their living spaces became partially – or in some cases totally – unusable. To break this pattern is an intense challenge. It's not just about putting things in garbage bags or finding the right photo boxes. I help people confront and redefine their relationships with what they own.

Each of us has one life. You. Me. Our friends and family. But I have to ask: Is it the life you want? It may be unexpected, but this is the question I always start with when helping people declutter and organize their homes – and ultimately their lives. What is the vision you have of the life you want to live? Are you living the life you want?

The transformations I have seen are speedy and amazing. As soon as people have space to breathe, their spirits lift. They have new energy and hope. At the end of the process, almost without exception, people tell me, "This has changed my life." Those are amazing and gratifying words to hear. By helping my readers and viewers and clients redefine their relationships to what they own, I have some small part in helping them look differently at their lives. Not in a superficial way, but at a level that has altered their relationships with everyone and to everything around them.
With all my work decluttering homes and watching the resulting transformations came two critical revelations:

1. It's not about the stuff - The first step in helping people deal with clutter is to get them to look at things other than the clutter itself. I know this sounds strange, but if you are struggling with the things you own, and focus exclusively on these things, you will never tame them. Believe me, it's rarely about "the stuff." Clutter is about fear of losing memories, or worry about the future, or a sense that something bad is going to happen. It's a way of dealing with loss, or even a way of masking the pain of some past trauma. The woman who couldn't let go of family memorabilia because of the sudden and tragic death of her brother, the father who hoarded all of his children's schoolwork because it represented what he felt were the years he was closest to his sons and daughter, or the couple whose home was overflowing with personal paperwork because they were so fearful of identity theft.

Looking beyond the clutter for answers means addressing the underlying issues. I learned long ago that if you focus on the stuff, you will never conquer the clutter and deal with the fat and excess that fills your home. This revelation is the key to the success I've had in helping people reframe the way they look at what they own. It is fundamental to helping people overcome years of clutter and disorganization in their lives.

2. Your home reflects your life - Your home is a reflection of you. Not in some airy-fairy way, but in a real and tangible sense. It's no accident that at the same time we are struggling with the "epidemic of obesity," we are also living in homes weighted down with clutter and filled with "stuff."

Dealing with clutter and regaining a sense of harmony and organization in their homes touched many people I worked with in ways that I don't think anyone foresaw. Suddenly "clutter" meant so much more than an overstuffed closet or garage. For most, changing their relationship to their stuff became the first step in a larger process of adjusting the other relationships in their lives. Couples reassessed their relationships and removed the hurdles that had cluttered up their emotional lives. A few couples went their separate ways. Others realized that major changes were needed if the relationships were to continue. People lost weight, changed careers, reassessed the way they spent their time, and reorganized their priorities. Removing the clutter from people's lives was more than just clearing a desk of unwanted paperwork or getting all that junk out of the garage. Decluttering and organizing had an impact on every aspect of the lives of the people I worked with.

Clutter and fat -- they're not so different - Now I want to work with you on a different relationship, another relationship that we lose track of when we're overwhelmed by the pressures and demands of busy lives. Another relationship that is intense, even potentially life threatening, and, when redefined, has the power to change your life. In our culture, the relationship most people have with their bodies hinges on size. And the size of your body is where my expertise as a declutterer comes in. Your relationship to food is complex. If you're fat, your problems are real, and there are no miracles. Changing is going to take some straight talk and I'm here to give it.

The person for whom clutter is not a problem is extremely rare. So many of my clients seem to have lost focus in their lives and live with a nagging but poorly defined yearning for something they can't quite grasp. In accumulating more and more stuff or eating more and more food, they are attempting to meet the need for "something more." No matter how much more they accumulate, however, the need remains. For others, there is an element of boredom combined with a simmering sense of frustration, even anger. Again, it's something that many find hard to put a finger on, yet whatever it is lies behind their need to fill their lives with things. The hope is that material things will bring meaning and fulfillment. It never works.

All of us deal constantly with the urge to consume more. They're just not very different – clutter and fat: I see it. I want it. I'll have it. Consumption is king. We spend too much, we buy too much, and we eat too much. In the same way that we surround ourselves with so much clutter, we overwhelm our bodies with caloric clutter consisting mainly of sugar and fat. Almost all of us are carrying extra pounds that we just can't seem to shake. The stuff in our homes becomes too overwhelming to deal with, but we keep shopping. Similarly, the increasing weight of our bodies becomes more than we are able to handle, but we keep indulging. I'm not saying that if you're struggling with clutter you'll be fat or that a weight problem automatically means there is clutter in your home. It's not that simple. What is clear, however, is that we have a weight problem in this country and it is killing us. Look around -- in all of those fat houses, fat malls, and fat cars are fat people. Clutter and fat -- one is a reflection of the other. If you hope to deal with either, you need to change the way you look at things.

It's not about the food - As I learned in cluttered houses across the country, when you've collected too much of anything, including fat, you can't get rid of it without facing the underlying issues. To lose weight, to achieve the body and look you desire, you have to consider the many aspects of where and how you live. You have to consider the life you want to live. You have to look at your body the way you look at your house and say, "Do I honor and respect this body? Does it reflect who I am?" If your goals aren't clear and your thinking isn't focused, you can't break the habits that stand in your way.

Clutter or weight? Weight or clutter? What is the solution? We have to take a step back and look at the total picture. It's a huge mistake to draw arbitrary lines and to put different parts of your life into separate little boxes. Your food. Your career. Your relationships. Your schedule. Your buying habits. Your diet. Consider for a moment that where you live, what you own, how you interact with others, what you eat, and how you spend your time are all intimately linked. You can't change one piece without affecting all the others.

Declutter your mind, declutter your home, declutter your relationship to food. Then watch the ripple effect this has on every aspect of the way you live. Clear out the junk, and in doing so clear out the patterns of thought and behavior that prevent you from living the life you want. If you try to clear the clutter by focusing on the stuff, you will fail to get organized. It's not about the stuff. If you try to lose weight by focusing on the food, you'll never change your body for good. It's not about the food. First define the life you want to live. Acknowledge the issues that clutter that vision. Clean up your priorities. Create a world where those priorities can thrive. Learn how to honor and respect yourself. When you do, the ability to take control of your body will follow.

Look at your life. If you and your family don't mind the consequences of your weight or if you have a clean bill of health, maybe you should stop harping about those extra ten pounds and enjoy your life. I don't believe in weight loss for the sake of weight loss. I believe in living a life that makes you happy. However, if your butt looks fat and you don't like it, it's time to get rid of it.

7 Ways to Prevent Clutterwww.clutterdiet.com

3 Reasons Why Getting Organized
is Like Losing Weight

1. Crash dieting doesn’t work, and neither does “crash organizing.” It’s great if you tackle a few huge projects one weekend and get some areas really organized, but unless you change the habits that got you disorganized in the first place, you will soon find the space a mess again. Both weight loss and organization require permanent changes in your habits and routines.

2. “A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.” The basic idea to lose weight is to eat less and move more. Clutter must be managed by preventing bringing it into the home whenever possible and by regularly processing your items and getting rid of what is not needed. Both weight loss and organization require a program of prevention, reduction, and regular maintenance.

3. Getting in shape can improve confidence. When you are disorganized, you feel out of control. You feel you can’t have friends over, and you may get embarrassed by not showing up on time to appointments or keeping your promises to others. Both weight loss and organization can reduce stress and increase confidence.

Cut Your Clutter Calories!

Just like cutting down on your candy consumption, preventing clutter from being created is the first step toward reducing your organizational “weight gain.” Here are a few tips to help you cut those clutter calories:

1. Control your “clutter cravings.” People often seem to have an appetite for purchasing certain things, but just like food cravings, you really can overcome your urge to collect. Get comfortable with the concept of “enough.” Avoid the places that encourage your particular collecting behavior, and if you must go, have a targeted approach to something you’ve planned ahead to buy. You may even need to bring a friend to “talk you down.” Here are some examples of places that are the clutter calorie equivalent of going to Krispy Kreme:

• Garage sales
• Flea markets
• Souvenir shops
• Discount stores
• Used bookstores
• Shoe stores

2. Deal with things as they come. Mail, dishes, and laundry are continuous sources of clutter. You can probably think of a few more examples of “continuous clutter” yourself. These processes are not going to stop, and accepting that is the first step in dealing with the problem.

To battle clutter, you must have systems and routines for dealing with it, usually on a daily basis. Can you imagine if the post office let letters and packages stack up, and at the end of the week the workers acted really surprised and panicked about delivering all of it? Of course not! They know it’s their business to deliver mail, and they have systems and routines in place to make that happen--daily. Our homes are no different. We need to accept the fact that we are also in the business of processing mail--and laundry and dishes-- and deal with these things as they come each day. No more ignoring these items and acting surprised when they have stacked up!

3. Stop extra postal mail, unsolicited phone calls, and junk e-mails. Junk communications are clutter too, and they cost you time and energy. Each communication represents little decisions you have to make every day. Should I talk to this salesperson? Should I read this catalog? Should I open this junk mail?

First, do not make it easy for them! Do not provide your personal contact information without asking yourself if it’s really necessary, and always be clear on the privacy policies of the company who is receiving this information. Sending in sweepstakes applications and warranty cards often put you on mailing lists, and these activities should be avoided.

Any time you receive an unsolicited sales call, have a response ready to end the call quickly. It’s very effective to say that you simply “have a policy” against purchasing from telemarketers. Always make sure you ask to be removed from their list so you won’t receive any future calls.

Ask your e-mail hosting provider or your IT service person to help you reduce your spam problem. There are many tools and services available to filter your mail, and they will be able to tell you the right tool for your particular configuration.
Resources:


• Postal Mail Reduction Tips: www.newdream.org/junkmail
• Direct Marketing Association: www.dmaconsumers.org/cgi/offmailing
• Opting Out of Credit Card Offers: www.optoutprescreen.com
• National Do-Not-Call Registry: www.donotcall.gov
• State Do-Not-Call Lists: http://www.callcompliance.com/regulations/statelist.html
• Federal Trade Commission Spam Information: http://www.ftc.gov/spam/

4. Plan before you buy. People create a lot of clutter by simply buying the wrong thing and not returning it. Take measurements, bring color swatches, and know sizes and quantities before you go out. Also, make a list of exactly what you need before you shop. If you are buying many things for your home, you can create a shopping notebook for your car that contains swatches of fabric, paint, and wallpaper, along with measurements of your rooms and furniture. Planning your purchases will help you save money, too!

5. Think before you buy. When you are about to buy something impulsively, ask yourself these crucial purchasing questions:

• Who can I borrow this from or share this with?
• What do I already have that is like this item?
• Where will I store this item?
• When will I have time to use it and maintain it?
• Why do I need this item?

Before you purchase something, mentally decide exactly where you are going to store this item when you get it home, and consider the time the item requires to maintain or use. If you are considering subscribing to a magazine or newspaper, ask yourself if you truly have time to read it each time it arrives. Are there already stacks of other magazines you are not reading? It may be better to buy a copy as a treat at the newsstand rather than subscribe and get into a clutter trap.

6. Don't always accept freebies. What a nifty glow-in-the-dark golf visor! But after the novelty wears off, what is going to happen to it? Don't take home everything you are offered from a party, a trade show or a conference, and don't bring home hotel soaps, samples, or other things you won’t use. When you are traveling, take five minutes while you are packing to leave to throw away anything that doesn’t truly belong in your home. And if a friend offers to give you something she doesn't use, don't accept it if you won't use it.

7. Ask for the gifts you want. It doesn't always come up, but if it does, be ready to tell people some great gift ideas for you. Otherwise you risk getting things you don't want and won’t use, which means clutter! And if you are truly the “person who has everything,” let everyone know you no longer want gifts but would rather have a donation in your name to a favorite charity.

Like dieters always say, “a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.” Preventing the clutter from entering your home in the first place means that you’ll have less of it to “work off” later!

Photos: manolohome.com, levimiller.com, abowlfulloflemons.blogspot.com