Reinventing Yourself 5 Steps To Creating A Better You by Kim Seeling Smith
The average person reinvents themselves all the time. It is both natural and necessary in life and business for continued growth and extraordinary results. Every time we make a new decision or choose a different path, we reinvent ourselves. Sometimes we do this proactively, other times reinvention is thrust upon us.
Step 1: Create Your New Identity
Any reinvention starts by establishing a new identity: a compelling future if you will. Psychological research tells us that it is not enough to run away from something to create change. That may kick start us into action, but sustainable change is only achieved by moving towards something that gets you excited! You need something that keeps you moving and keeps you making those daily decisions to change the course of your life.
So think about this new identity: who are you going to become? This might be as simple as 'I am one dress size thinner', if you are reinventing your weight or your health, or it might be as complex as 'I am outgoing and meet people in my new location easily' - if you are reinventing yourself as someone who settles easily into a new community or culture.
What characteristics do the new you have? What does she do, think and feel? One of my own reinventions was to lose 22 kilos (50 lbs) and to keep it off for five years and counting. I literally visualized myself as thin every single day. I walked differently; I moved differently, I thought differently! And I got excited about eating right and exercising each day because I knew that that was who I really was and those behaviors supported that new identity.
But what if you do not know how to create a new identity? That's easy! Become an actor and model someone you know or admire who embodies the characteristics of whom you want to become. It can actually be quite fun!
Once you decide on a new identity, how do you actually create her? I like to use a concept from the burgeoning field of Human Needs Psychology called the 'Three Pillars of Sustainable Change'. These Pillars are the difference to making long-lasting, sustainable change in your life (like losing weight and keeping it off) as opposed to those short-lived decisions that inevitably end up in returning to old behaviors or patterns (like gaining and losing the same few pounds over and over again).
Step 2: Focus
The first of these Pillars is Focus. What are you focusing on day to day? Is it compelling, specific and within your control? Or are you fixated on fears and uncertainty? You will only move forward when you are focused on things you can control. Instead of thinking about the bad economy, focus on how many resumes you have sent out or phone calls you have made to set up appointments. Your focus needs to be specific as well. It helps to set goals for yourself. Finally, your focus needs to be compelling. It needs to excite you to keep you in action doing the things you know you need to do (even if you do not want to).
Step 3: Strategies
The second Pillar is Strategies. We have all been successful at something in life, right? Some of us are great at our jobs, others are great at sport and/or some are great at cooking. But everyone has been successful at something.
It turns out that you can actually use these strategies cross-contextually. So figure out what helps you to be successful in the thing or things you are good at and what is not helpful. Then do what works and do not do what does not. Sound simple? It actually is.
Step 4: Resolve Inner Conflicts
The third Pillar is a bit tricky, admittedly. It is the Pillar that stops a lot of us from succeeding, but it really does not have to be that difficult if you get clear on what you really, really want. The third Pillar is to Resolve Inner Conflicts. You know, when you are in two minds about something? That is an inner conflict. Part of you feels worthy but another part is sabotaging your success.
How do you resolve your inner conflicts? The easiest way is to get really clear on what you want and to recognize that those seemingly disparate parts of you actually want the same thing for you. Recognize your higher purpose and conflicts just disappear.
Step 5: Manage Your Psychology
The final step in the reinvention process is to manage your psychology. There is a famous quote from Mary Kay Ash of Mary Kay Cosmetics: "IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU'RE RIGHT. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN'T, YOU'RE RIGHT!" No truer words were ever spoken. You must believe that you will succeed. And in order to believe, you must manage your psychology.
The most important step in managing your psychology, believe it or not, is managing your physiology. What are you eating and drinking? How are you standing and breathing? If you want to change your attitude change your altitude: stand up, sit down, or just move!
Other great tips for managing your psychology are to:
1. Visualize success every day! See and talk to yourself as that new identity;
2. Create an 'I rock' file with notes, letters and emails from people telling you that you rock! Or maybe just memories you write down on a piece of paper. Look at your 'I rock' file before you go to bed and as you are planning your day in the morning;
3. Celebrate small wins. Reward yourself when you do something that leads you closer to your new identity; and
4. Write a nightly list of everything you feel grateful for. Gratitude manifests more great things that another night you will be grateful for.
Kim Seeling Smith is a Reinvention Guru having reinvented herself multiple times professionally and personally. She now helps others reinvent their careers, lives and/or businesses.
http://www.Reinvention-Guru.com
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