Who's Drinking all that Diet-Rite Cola?

Our family, the McCauley's, moved to Elmira Heights, NY when I was 7. We lived in a cracker-box shaped, two-family home on 10th Street - the worst house, on a nice street, in a Mayberry-like town.

In 1965 when I was 11, Danny M. (no last name, to protect the not-so innocent) and his family, moved into the other side of our house. Coincidentially, 1965 was the same year that Diet-Rite Cola started their catchy ad campaign. "Who's drinking all that Diet-Rite Cola? Everybody!"

Well, Danny M. put his own slant on the jingle - his went like this... "Who's drinking all that Diet-Rite Cola? All the McCauley's! (Those of you with AARP cards, like me, go ahead and sing the tune.)

My sister Mae, and I, thought Danny M.'s version went beyond genius!! We sang it constantly, until one day our mother said, "What are you singing?" We proceeded to tell her how great Danny M. was and how he had personalized the ad just for us. She said, "You stupid idiots (I think mothers were more honest in the 60's; at least ours was), don't you understand he's making fun of you?"

Not only did we not realize he was making fun of us, we didn't even get it? Mom had to explain that "All the McCauley's" were drinking all the Diet-Rite cola because we needed to, as we were fat.

I remember every detail of the story up to that point. Did I tell Danny M. off? Did I ever say another word to him? Truthfully, I haven't a clue. All I know is that we tell that story, to this day, and roar louder each time we tell it. After 45 years it brings me joy to say this - All the McCauley's may have been fat but it didn't define who we were, nor did it rob us of our senses of humor.

God bless you, Danny M., wherever you are, I forgive you - nah, there's nothing to forgive. Thanks for being part of our family lore and thanks for the laughs. I hope you've had a good life.... writing ad copy for Pepsi or Broadway lyrics, you certainly had the talent for it!